I just had a conversation with my ex-wife. My 13-year-old daughter had received inappropriate text messages from a boy her age which is horribly wrong. I tried to assist because it was allegedly the son of someone I know. Of course, my ex did not see that way. I am supposed to work with her which means do it her way and not interfere. My daughter expressed a little discouragement in that boys only look at her sexually. I told her that is how it is but one day you will find one who will love you for you.
In a conversation with her mother my ex, to summarize, that a woman should be able to walk around naked and a man should neither appreciate her naked body nor desire to have sex with her. I am talking about a man who is still a slave to his sinful nature and its desires. She became cliché in that men feel they are owed sex, seek to dominate women and will rape them if necessary to get what she wants. A woman should be able to dress and act however they wish, even if it means teasing a man sexually, and the man should not think they want sex.
The other part is that the only people who are responsible and should be held accountable are the men. Women should not share any of the blame. My ex said that men are taught to dominate women by either their fathers, brothers, friends or the media. Really? Men are pigs and always will be pigs.
What she fails to acknowledge is that we are sinners. We are slaves to the desires of the flesh. We can exert control but it does not mean we do not sin. Not all men are slaves to sex. Some men are slaves to other distractions. The thing is that we will always be sinners who tend to sin. It will not matter who much instruction you give a man it is really only control over his actions and reactions. Inside, he is probably desiring the woman.
I don’t understand her rationale. The men of this world should always bear the responsibility of their actions. I understand that men do rape and abuse women, and I would never teach my son to do that. But if a woman, in a bar or club or party, is flirting and intentionally rubbing her body against a man she is attracted to does she bear any responsibility at all if now the man wants to have sex with her? Would he be misunderstanding her “signals”?
Rape is wrong. So is inappropriate messages and unwanted sexual comments. But if the context of the situation is outside of those circumstances then all factors should be considered.