Weak

I am a weak Christian. I am weak in all areas of my spiritual life. I have difficulty with the simple things in my spiritual walk. I try to pray. One of two things happens, I either start to doze off or my mind wanders away and I have to think hard to remember where I left off. That’s assuming that I decide to resume praying. I am so weak when I am on my knees, the one place I should find my strength.

I am pathetic at fasting. I have difficulty maintaining my fast past twelve hours. And when I do I usually eat when asked because I don’t want to appear to be more holy than the other person. So I end my fast before I have had a chance to test my body, to test my ability to resist the needs of the body so I can focus on the needs of my spiritual state.

The reason why I mention these two practices of a spiritual walk with Christ is because when I read the historical accounts of Christians who have made a difference in the past these are two things these people tend to incorporate into their lives. It seems that their success, in terms of the church and heavenly things, is rooted in regular fasting and prayer. I want to practice them more and be more diligent in focusing on prayer and fasting. How can I truly be effective if I am not sincerely seeking the face of God?

I don’t want to be weak anymore.