January 13, 2015

I heard a song.  I have sang the song in church a few times.  I even have it on my mp3 player somewhere.  The song tells me that my chains have fallen off.  I have been set free from my sin.  I have had chains that bound me, kept me enslaved to the sin of my flesh, since I was born, broken off by the cross.  Now I have Jesus and His resurrection and His grace, love, mercy and forgiveness.  I am no longer bound to my sin.

Some days I am frantically looking for my blowtorch.  I know I can fix the shackle that was broken and reattach the chain.  Some days I am not so sure I want to be free from my sin, and I wish I could do as I wish, as I see others live.  I imagine what life would be like if I could sin with impunity and indulge my flesh.

Jesus promises a yoke that is light and easy.  It is nothing like the chains we once had.  But I got used to the weight of those chains that it seems strangely odd now that they are gone.  Some days I just don’t know what to do with myself because I try so hard to do it all myself.  I don’t rely on Him who is carrying my burden.  The familiarity of those chains seems more bearable than the brightness of the light of my Savior, exposing every dark corner of my heart and mind.  Because my heart and mind are set on sin.

What does it take to surrender daily, to put myself on the altar as a living sacrifice before God and my fellow man?  When will I get to that place where the yoke feels like a feather?  I have been saved a long time, about forty years.  I am not sure if I am any closer to knowing God now than I was then.